Gary Chapman, a Christian marriage counselor, wrote a book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Understanding the love languages concept can revolutionize your marriage.
In his book he describes 5 different love languages. He teaches you how you can discover both yours and your spouses love language. At this point you may be wondering “What are those five love languages?”
Test your love language knowledge and try to figure out which is yours, your spouse’s and even your children’s primary love language by studying the explanations below…
#1. The first language is words of affirmation.
Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. (Proverbs 16:24)
Some people thrive on words of affirmation. People whose love language is words of affirmation feel neglected and unloved by their spouse if they rarely hear any positive feedback about themselves or their performance.
#2. The second language Chapman identifies is quality time.
This can be time spent taking a walk, eating out, or even riding in the car together. What ever it is, if your spouse’s love language is quality time it means they need a frequent dose of your undivided attention! Without your undivided attention on a regular basis, you may hear complaints like “You never listen to me” or “You never spend time with me!”
#3. Next, is gifts…
They don’t have to be extravagant or expensive. But if your spouse’s love language is gifts, when you go away on a business trip you better come back with a gift for your spouse. Otherwise, it is likely they will feel seriously rejected and unloved.
#4. Fourth is acts of service, my favorite one!
When my husband puts the dishes away or folds the laundry (without being asked), I hear “I love you!” For many wives, acts of service is their primary love language. They just love it when their husbands do things for them. Especially, when they get jobs done around the house.
Here’s the kicker that makes love languages so important to learn….
Husbands and wives rarely have the same language.
#5. The fifth and final love language is Physical touch.
Physical touch can be anything from holding hands, to back rubs, to a peck on the cheek or making love. As with all the love languages there are nuances. Therefore you need to be willing to ask your spouse when do you feel most loved? And how do you most like to be touched?
Love languages really are the expression of love that meets the emotional needs of your partner. In other words, we feel most loved when our love tank is being filled. In fact, that’s what gives us that tingly, in love feeling…getting our emotional needs met.